One big, happy family

Don Nelsen's volunteer efforts as a foster parent have come from the heart. Those efforts also have led to recognition as the 2007 Rockwell Collins Good Citizenship Award winner.

By Anne Wiskerchen

Imagine enjoying a quiet dinner at a local restaurant. The dining room lights are dim, you are reflecting on your gourmet meal, and the waiter has just arrived with the chef's famous dessert.

Suddenly, you feel a tap on your shoulder and much to your surprise a complete stranger offers to pay for your entire meal. Although you don't know the man, he says he wants to personally thank you for being a foster dad to children in the community you both share.

Don Nelsen has been on the receiving end of random acts of kindness like this on numerous occasions. A software engineer at the Rockwell Collins facility on Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana and the recipient of our 2007 Good Citizenship Award, Nelsen says it's times like these that reinforce why his work as a foster parent is so important.

For the past 14 years, Nelsen and his wife, Jane, have assisted nearly 70 children in the Shreveport/Bossier City region of Louisiana – the place they call home. Although caring for medically fragile children under age 3 is their specialty, the couple also has fostered youths as old as 15.

"These kids need help and a place to stay," said Don, who has had as many as seven children in the house at once. "By opening up our home and giving them some attention, we can help change a child's life."

In Louisiana, the Nelsens' work as foster parents is particularly important. Currently, more than 5,000 children have been placed in the foster care system, which removes children from dangerous situations until it is safe to return home. The state also investigates more than 24,000 cases of child abuse and neglect on an annual basis.

"Don is a true advocate for these children," said Doug Hubbart, a recruiter for foster and adoptive homes at the Louisiana Department of Social Services. "He is always ready to take children into his home – regardless of special needs, color or creed."

Putting life into perspective

It was actually Nelsen's wife, Jane, who initially put the idea about becoming foster parents into her husband's head. At the time, Don was serving in the U.S. Air Force.

"Jane grew up in a big family and had always been around kids," said Don. "I'll admit that I was hesitant at first, but being a foster parent has put perspective on what's truly important in life."

After raising four children – one of their own and three from Jane's previous marriage – the Nelsens were certified as foster parents in 1992. Their son, Brian, still lived at home during the nine-week training course and in-home visit required by the Department of Social Services.

"The home visits can be the most intrusive part of the process, but they are crucial to make sure the foster family is the right fit for the children," said Hubbart. "A family really has to be patient and understand we all are working in the best interest of the children."

Overcoming challenges

Although Don says foster parenting can be personally rewarding, it is by no means an easy job. He and his wife must be ready to take a child at any time and, once a child arrives, he/she might stay for one day, one month or longer.

"Foster parents are constantly in an emotional tug-of-war," said Hubbart, adding that getting attached to a particular child is always a risk.

For the Nelsens, most of the tear-jerking good-byes have passed. They have managed to find a perspective that helps minimize the pain each time a child leaves their home.

"I try to liken what we do to that of a schoolteacher," said Don. "We take care of the children, we try to teach them important life lessons, and we send them on their way."

An additional challenge Don faces is that his wife recently suffered a mild stroke. Although she is feeling much better, she no longer drives, which can make things a bit difficult.

"This can be tough when the kids have doctor appointments or parent visits," he said. "I try to flex my work time when possible and put in my hours earlier or later. Then, I can be available to drive when needed."

His efforts on behalf of children are no secret to his co-workers at Barksdale Air Force Base. According to Diane Bice, a data management supervisor at our Barksdale facility, Don has been an inspiration to many who have seen how foster parenting has changed his life.

"I've gained so much from working with Don," said Bice. "He is one of the most caring and giving individuals I've ever met. We all know about the kids, and we admire his ability to balance both work and fostering so many children in need."

Each child who comes into the Nelsens' home is different. Some may have been abused or neglected, some may have been abandoned, and others may have medical problems. But no matter what their background, when children arrive they are given a safe, loving place to stay, which brings joy to the entire family.

"Taking care of kids is what we've chosen to make our life meaningful," said Don.

In addition to the children they foster parent, the Nelsens have formally adopted two children and finally have the large family they have always wanted.

Their first adopted child, 9-year-old Alexis, came into their home as an infant. Last year, the couple adopted a second child, Amy, who came to them as an infant weighing only 1.6 pounds. Today, she is a rambunctious 4-year-old who loves playing with her foster brothers and sisters.

"I do believe God sent these kids to me," said Don. "We try our best to be a good example for people in our community – one big, happy family."